Brian and Vinny: Episode Zero
by LDEJRuff
Summary: This is a prelude to the many adventures Brian and Vinny are going to have together. Happening within the events of Chapter 7 of "What 11-24-13 Would Have Been Like...", it tells of how Vinny became a member of the Griffin family, thanks to Brian.
1. Chapter 1

_Brian and Vinny: Episode Zero_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 1 - Preparing for the Mall

* * *

It was the night of December 22 at the Griffin house. Stewie was inside the living room, feeling miserable for missing the Brian he knew before the accident. While he was watching _A Year Without a Santa Claus or Sex_, he was thinking to himself.

"Oh, Brian," he thought. "I sure wish I could use that materialization program soon to return you to flesh and blood, and fur, but I promised myself I'd keep you as a robot a little longer. But with you as a robot, I...I just don't know. It's tough for me, especially around the holidays."

"Hello, Stewart," Stewie heard Brian greet. The robot dog was wearing a red vest, a brown jacket, and a pair of glasses.

"What's this?" Stewie said, surprised to see Brian. "What are you doing, Brian?"

"That's my name," Brian said. "Hey, whose leg do you have to hump to get some oil around here?"

"Oil?" Stewie repeated. "That's not your signature line at all."

"I've changed it since I became a robot, okay?" Brian responded. "Look, I went through a lot of trouble trying to act the way I was a few months before I got run over. For example, I'm trying to get into politics again, so I read the newspaper. What's with all these politics, huh? That's all about my level of political awareness."

"Oh, Brian," Stewie sighed. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"Hey," Brian continued, "you remember my bestselling novel, _Wish It, Want It, Do It_? Well, I happened to write a sequel novel. Something I'd like to call _Wish It, Want It, 2 It_."

"Oh," Stewie said, turning to Brian. "You replace the word 'do' with the number '2', huh?"

"Yeah, let me recite a passage from it," Brian began. "'You wish you could attend the Oscars. You want to win an award. You know what you do? You win for best actor.' And at the end of the book, you see a picture of someone smiling. That's an example of you being a big success."

"Look, Brian," Stewie interrupted. "I appreciate what you're doing to cheer me up, but none of it can get your _real_ body back, especially around Christmas."

"Nothing," he thought then, "except for that materialization program."

What Stewie just said brought something to Brian's mind.

"Christmas," Brian said. "Stewie, that's _it_!"

"_What's_ it?" Stewie asked.

"Several months ago," Brian informed, "you said you time-traveled ahead to buy that new toy a week before you destroyed your time machine."

"Oh, yeah," Stewie realized. "But it could've been _any_ night before Christmas. What made you think about _that,_ Brian?"

"We could go back to the mall to see if I'm right," Brian requested.

"Well," Stewie began, shrugging, "I guess we _could_ go back."

"Great," Brian said. "Let me get out of these professor clothes, first."

* * *

Before long, Stewie went up to his room, grabbed a small capsule and brought out a large pad from under his crib. He then got onto the pad every thirty seconds after typing something on a screen. Brian, who was back to wearing his red collar, noticed Stewie doing something.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for the mall?" Brian asked.

"Just a minute, Brian," Stewie answered. "To prove you're right about the other Stewie being at the mall at this time, I've prepared clones of myself to teleport to the roofs of our house, Mr. Quagmire's house and Jasper's apartment. Remember our trip to Vegas?"

"Oh, yeah," Brian realized. "This machine of yours created clones of us. Of course, your clone died after the Stewie I was with mistook our money for yours. Anyway, what are you doing this for?"

"This," Stewie answered, showing Brian the capsule. "It's a portable time shield I invented to prevent any time anomalies from happening at a certain area. However, the cloned capsules are only good for one use. I don't want New Brian to forget about the present you gave him, or Mr. Quagmire to hate you again."

Now knowing what Stewie was doing, Brian requested, "May I please have your capsule and get on the pad? There's something _my_ clone needs to take care of."

"As long as there's still time," he thought. "I don't want Vinny to forget about me. After all, I did help him get over Leo, but that's another story."

"Sure, Brian," Stewie said, handing him the shield. "Just as long as it's a good cause."

"Trust me," Brian began, "it is."

Typing the coordinates on the screen, Brian thought, "I hope this works."

And with that, Brian got on the pad, then went off it after the light shone from it.

"Okay, Stewie," Brian said. "Let's go to the mall."

"Great," Stewie said, walking to his closet. "Let me get my coat."

The progress on the screen went all the way up to 100%, and Brian's clone successfully was atop the roof of the pet shop where Vinny was.


	2. Chapter 2

_Brian and Vinny: Episode Zero_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 2 - Welcome Home, Vinny

* * *

After Brian and Stewie had informed the past Stewie about the event, the latter decided to put away the time machine so the accident would never happen. When he did, the time shield clones worked so that Glenn Quagmire, Jasper, Ricardo, New Brian, Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg and Vinny wouldn't be affected. However, it only affected Stewie and Brian a little, since they were the only ones who knew about the now-prevented accident. This was so because they had touched the shield in capsule form.

After the trip to the Mall, Brian decided to take Stewie to the pet shop where Vinny was. The Prius parked near the shop, which made Stewie wonder.

"The pet shop?" Stewie asked. "What are we doing here? Are you going to buy dog food?"

"No, Stewie," Brian answered. "Something better."

The two friends got into the shop, and made their way to the dog cages.

"Wait," Stewie said. "You want to buy a dog? Don't we have you as a dog already?"

"Yes," Brian answered. "But I want to treat the dog I buy like a son or little brother to me. One month after the event, I went out to this shop and met the dog I want to buy, making friends with him. And he's still there," he said, pointing to Vinny's cage, which was right next to the two.

"Brian," Vinny greeted. "Good to see you again."

"Good to see _you_ again, too, Vinny," Brian greeted back.

"Vinny?" Stewie repeated. "That's a nice name."

"So, I hear you want to buy me," Vinny said. "Who's the bambino?"

Brian answered, "Vinny, this is Stewie, my owner Peter's youngest son. He's a baby genius."

"Yes, and we have a lot of stories for you to catch up on when we get home," Stewie said to Vinny as Brian opened the cage.

"I already know what Vinny's breed is, Stewie," Brian said, "and I was pretty surprised."

"Really?" Stewie responded. "What breed _is_ he?"

"Actually," Vinny began, "I'm a pussyhound."

"That just means he's one sixteenth cat," Brian added.

"Whoa, a hybrid," Stewie said, amazed. "That's amazing."

"And," Brian began, "he's my present to you and the rest of the family."

"Really?" Vinny said, wagging his tail. "Your present to _me_ is a family? That's perfect!"

"Why is it perfect?" asked Stewie.

Brian replied, "Vinny's previous owner, Leo, died while doing the first pose in a yoga class."

"Really?" Stewie said, shocked.

"Yeah," Brian answered, paying the shop owner. "_Dateline_ announced it. I comforted Vinny. But being brought here was what he needed to get over Leo. And I thought, 'hey, maybe he needs a family's care'."

"Well, Brian," Stewie began, "I think it's true."

"Hey, Brian?" Vinny said, putting his hand on Brian's shoulder. "Thanks for the present."

"You're welcome, Vinny," Brian replied. "You'll love it at the Griffin house."

* * *

Later that night, Brian drove his Prius back all the way to the Griffin house, and the three quietly tip-toed out of the car so they wouldn't make much noise.

"Okay, Vinny," Brian whispered. "Since you're my present to the Griffins, they don't know what's going on. So, I need you to sleep in Stewie's bedroom closet during the night. Then, in the morning, I need you to prepare breakfast for us, so they'll be surprised."

"Don't worry, Brian," Vinny whispered back. "I'll be sure to keep your secret until tomorrow morning."

"And since you're part cat," Brian whispered, "you can climb all the way up to his bedroom through the open window."

"When I give the signal," Stewie whispered, "you climb."

"You got it, bambino," Vinny whispered back in agreement.

And with that, Brian and Stewie went back inside the house.

"Hey, you two," Lois said, greeting them. "How was the Mall? Did Stewie find a new toy to play with?"

"Well," Brian began, "yes."

"What about something for the _rest_ of us?" asked Lois.

"You'll see," Brian replied.

With that, Lois carried a sleepy-looking Stewie up to his room. "You must be sleepy after a long night of shopping with Brian," she said. "Okay, little man, time for bed."

Lois then put Stewie in his crib, turned off the light, and closed the door. This gave Stewie the opportunity to open the bedroom window and give the signal. That signal gave Vinny a chance to climb up, using his catlike abilities, to Stewie's bedroom. He got in with a flip.

"Wow," Stewie whispered. "Nice reflexes."

"Thanks, Stewie," Vinny whispered back. He then looked around at the interior of the bedroom. "Mama mia," he whispered, still. "This is a fine-lookin' bedroom I've ever seen. I think I'll enjoy sleepin' in your closet tonight."

"Thanks," Stewie whispered. "I know you will."

* * *

The following morning, Peter, Lois, Chris and Meg awoke to the aroma of a perfect breakfast that Vinny, who they didn't yet know Brian bought for them, made. They then saw Brian and Stewie already in the kitchen.

"Good morning, everyone," Brian greeted, holding a warm coffee mug.

"Brian," Lois began, "did you make breakfast for us?"

"Yeah," Peter added. "Have you gotten over that diet of yours?"

"Well," Brian began, "yes to the second question, no to the first. I didn't make breakfast for you guys. It was my Christmas present for you. I bought him last night at the pet shop as a sort of brother figure for me to take care of."

"Wait," Chris began. "You bought a dog? For us?"

"And you want to take care of him like a brother?" Meg added.

"Of course," Brian answered. He then called to the ceiling, "It's okay. You can come down now."

Afterwards, the four unsuspecting family members heard footsteps coming from down the stairs. They then turned around and saw Vinny, waving at them.

"Hello, Griffins," he greeted.

"Oh, my God," Lois said in awe. "He's adorable."

"Yeah," Peter agreed. "He sounds like someone who went to college."

"Oh," Meg said in awe. "He looks so cute."

"Oh, boy!" Chris said in excitement. "We have another dog in the family!"

Brian got out of the kitchen and started to introduce his present to the family.

"Griffins," Brian began, "I'd like you all to meet my Christmas present to you. His name is Vinny. He's a pussyhound. That means he's part cat."

"By one sixteenth," Vinny added.

"And," Brian continued, "he's not only my new friend, but also my brother-like figure."

Peter walked closer to Vinny and pat him on the head.

"Welcome to the family, Vinny," he said. "Merry Christmas."

"Thanks," Vinny replied. "And a Merry Christmas to you, too. Maybe you can take me around and show me the neighborhood, that is, if Brian won't mind."

Brian chuckled. "I don't mind at all. Peter can take us to the Drunken Clam to meet the guys. Won't that be nice, Peter?"

"Yeah," Peter agreed. "I think it is."


	3. Chapter 3

_Brian and Vinny: Episode Zero_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 3 - Getting to Know Vinny

* * *

Later that afternoon, Peter drove both his dogs to the Drunken Clam so Vinny can get to know both Glenn Quagmire and Joe Swanson. Inside, Peter, Brian and Vinny met with Quagmire and Joe.

"Hey, guys," Brian greeted. "I'd like you to meet my present for the Griffin family, Vinny."

"Hi, Vinny," Quagmire greeted.

"How you doing?" asked Joe.

Vinny answered, "Real good. You must be Glenn Quagmire and Joe Swanson. Brian told me about you guys. Hey, Joe, I hear you're a cop."

"That's right," Joe replied.

"Hey, that's great," Vinny said, excited. "Maybe sometime you could take me on a ride-along with you, show me the neighborhood."

"Yeah, I don't take people out on ride-alongs anymore," Joe regretted.

"That's okay, Vinny," Brian said, laying a paw on his shoulder. "I'll give you a ride-along in my Prius."

"Thanks, Brian," Vinny said. "That's very nice of you. Though I feel sorry that Joe doesn't do anymore ride-alongs. How so?"

Brian answered, shrugging, "Bad experience with Grimace."

**Cutaway:** We see Joe driving his car, giving the McDonaldland character a ride.

"I got to be honest," Joe began. "I can't get a bead on you, man."

Grimace slowly turned his head to Joe, then back.

* * *

Later that day, back at the Griffin house, Peter and his two dogs were on the living room couch drinking cans of beer.

"Boy, Brian," Peter began, "Having Vinny hang out with us is the best."

"I agree, Peter," said Brian. "I sure bought the right dog for you guys." He then turned to Vinny and asked, "Hey, Vinny, you want another beer?"

Vinny answered, "No. I'd love one!"

The three laughed.

Peter then responded, "But the first thing you said was, 'Oh, my God!' You're on, you're, like, on another level, Vinny!"

"Yeah," Brian agreed. "You're a really terrific guy."

"Thanks, fellas," Vinny replied. "I couldn't have found as good a couple of friends such as you guys."

"Excuse me a sec, guys," Peter began, getting up. "I gotta prepare a show for Vinny."

"A show?" Vinny repeated, to Brian. "What kind of show?"

"You'll love it, Vinny," Brian answered. "Peter spent Stewie's college funds on puppet clothes. It's really funny."

"Really?" Vinny said.

Brian replied, "Yeah."

"Okay, Vinny," Peter said from across the room. "Get ready for a puppet show. They all got leather jackets."

"Oh, cool," Vinny said, wagging his tail.

Stewie had been watching this from the head of the stairs in worry.

"Oh, dear," Stewie said, "that's what the fat man's been doing? I say Vinny rather needs to spend a little more time with Brian and I than the fat man. It would be a better experience than ruining a magic act."

**Cutaway:** We see a magician doing the sawing-a-person-in-half trick.

"People, people, people," Stewie said, running to the stage. "This man drives a Saturn."

* * *

Later that day, Vinny was in the kitchen, reading the newspaper.

"Hey, Doonesbury," Vinny regarded. "How about a joke that ain't for fancy millionaires?"

A few seconds later, he heard Brian and Stewie laughing off and on in the living room. He put down the paper and got into the room. He then saw the two on the couch, still laughing.

"Hey, fellas," Vinny said, getting their attention. "What's with the hyena act?"

"Come on in, Vinny," Brian replied. "You've gotta enjoy these wonderful, memorable moments from our past."

"Yeah," Stewie added. "We have most of them on DVD."

"Like, uh, by season and stuff?" asked Vinny.

Stewie chuckled. "No, not by season."

"Just in volumes," Brian added.

Vinny got up to the couch and saw many episode scenes from the show on DVD. Eventually, he saw the ipecac/vomiting scene from the Season Four episode, "8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter".

"Huh," he said. "Guess that explains the puke smell in the living room. You guys are really funny."

"Thanks, Vinny," Stewie agreed.

"Yeah," Brian added. "We should do something like this more often."

Vinny chuckled in agreement.


	4. Chapter 4

_Brian and Vinny: Episode Zero_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 4 - Christmas Eve

* * *

A couple of hours later, Lois came into the living room.

"I say," she began, "you guys must be hungry. What shall I fix you all for dinner?"

"Are you kiddin'?" Vinny responded. "You're a hard-workin' lady. So tonight, I'm going to be cooking dinner for the family."

"Oh, how very thoughtful," Lois said. "Thank you, Vinny."

"You're very welcome, Lois," replied Vinny.

As Lois walked out of the living room, Brian said, "Wow, Vinny. That was very nice of you. You sure are a talented dog to cook for us."

Vinny chuckled in agreement. "I used to do it all the time for Leo. But with him gone, it'd be better with you guys as a family for a change. Who wants spaghetti and meatballs with a side of Prosciutto?"

"Ooh, I like spaghetti and meatballs," Stewie responded.

"Yeah," Brian added. "And I like Prosciutto."

"Grazie, Brian," Vinny replied. "I'm glad you like it."

* * *

The following morning was Christmas Eve, and both Peter and Lois were planning to go to the mall for some last-minute gifts. They even planned to have extra time now that they had another dog.

"Okay, Peter," Lois began. "Now that we have a new family dog, we'd like to give something good to him."

"Like a new collar?" Peter asked.

"Vinny already has one," answered Lois.

"I know," Peter replied,"but I just thought maybe _another_ collar would be good for Vinny. Remember the Italian collar we got Brian for that dog show?"

**Cutaway:** We see Brian in front of a black background, wearing his Italian collar from "Brian: Portrait of a Dog".

"It's not for everyday," Brian said, "but it _is_ exquisite.

Back to Peter and Lois in the mall.

"Well," Lois began, "I guess it wouldn't hurt for Vinny to wear a collar that's patriotic."

"Or one that's both red and green to match the holiday season," Peter added.

"Okay, Peter," Lois agreed. "We'll give him _two_ collars: one in red, white and blue, and one in red and green."

"Great," Peter said, glad.

* * *

Back home, Stewie was busy using his crayons, drawing something in his room.

"Brian's going to love this, Rupert," he addressed his teddy bear. "This will be the most wonderful thing Brian's ever seen. And I may make another one for Vinny, as well."

* * *

In the living room, Vinny was singing while watching TV with Brian.

_I'm now spendin' Christmas glee,_

_With my brand new family,_

_That's what I wished for Christmas this year_

Brian nodded his head to the tune of the song and joined in.

_Vinny my friend, that's just the start,_

_You have some love that'll warm our hearts,_

_That's much enough of a present this year_

Meg and Chris were busy writing their Christmas lists. Meg then sang her line.

_All I want is something nice,_

_I hope it's very pleasing_

Chris then sang his line.

_At least we won't have to wait 'til next year_

Peter and Lois came home from the mall, then both sang their lines.

_Brian and Vinny, we are home_

_At least our new dog is not alone_

Stewie then walked to the head of the stairs after finishing his drawings, and sang his line.

_And Christmas time is drawing so near_

The entire family got together for the big finish of this song redux.

_All these happy wishes,_

_And lots of Christmas cheer,_

_Is all we really want this year_

And with that, the song ended.

"That was a good song, guys," Vinny said. "It was nice of me to join in, especially before Christmas."

"Glad to hear it, Vinny," Brian replied. "Glad to hear it."

Both dogs shook their paws.


	5. Chapter 5

_Brian and Vinny: Episode Zero_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 5 - A Wonderful Christmas

* * *

It was Christmas morning at the Griffin house, and everyone was opening their presents. Peter and Lois gave their presents to Vinny, first.

"Merry Christmas, Vinny," Lois said. "I hope you enjoy the presents Peter and I picked for you."

Vinny opened the present boxes, and amazed to see that in each box was a collar for him to wear.

"Oh, Peter, Lois," Vinny began. "These are the most wonderful collars I've ever seen, especially on Christmas. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Vinny," Peter replied.

Meg was the next to give Vinny a present. Her's was a tablet computer.

"Wow, Meg," Vinny said. "Thanks for the tablet. Now I can chat and send video messages on social networks."

"Glad you like it, Vinny," Meg replied.

Chris was next. His present to Vinny was a picture of the family he took with his digital camera.

"Wow, hat boy," Vinny said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Vinny," Chris replied. "Whenever you see it, you'll be thinking about us."

Stewie and Brian were sitting near the tree.

"It's from me, Brian," Stewie said, handing his present to the dog. "Merry Christmas."

Brian opened the gift. It was a crayon drawing Stewie drew of himself, Brian and Vinny, with the words "Friends Forever" written on top.

"Stewie," Brian began. "It's wonderful. Thank you."

"And your gift to us is wonderful, too," Stewie said, referring to Vinny. "He's a great addition to the family."

Vinny came in and gave Brian a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Brian," Vinny whispered.

"You, too, Vinny," Brian replied.

* * *

Later that night, the family was having a special Christmas dinner at their house. Many of the guests they invited to their house were Carter and Barbara Pewterschmidt (Lois' parents), Glenn Quagmire and his gender-changed father, Ida, Joe and his wife, Bonnie, and their son and daughter, Kevin and Susie, and Chris' boss, Carl.

Vinny sat next to Brian, who was sitting next to Stewie.

"Attention, everyone," Peter began. "As some of you may know, we have a new family member. Our dog, Brian, bought another dog for the family. Vinny is the dog's name. As such, this is our first Christmas with him in the family. So, without any further ado, we'd like to pray for this wonderful occasion. Vinny, would you like to do the honors?"

Vinny chuckled. "Sure."

Everyone bowed their heads, closed their eyes, and held their hands.

"Dear Lord," Vinny prayed, "We pray to you today for the blessings you have bestowed upon us. I thank you for helping Brian find a family for me to take care of. I pray that you continue to watch over me as I am their new dog. Keep us all in the center of Your will. Bless this food that we're about to eat. Use us all in your service. For this, in Your Holy name, we pray."

"Amen," everyone finished.

And with that, everyone began their meal.

"Brian, I gotta tell ya'," Vinny said to his friend. "This is the best Christmas I ever had, even though it's the first one I'm spending with you guys as a family."

"I agree, Vinny," Brian nodded. "I hope the coming years will be even _more_ wonderful."

"I hope so, too," Vinny said.

And that was only the beginning...

* * *

The End


End file.
